Top 5 Tunes on this Fine Football-Free Saturday

It may be the SEC Championship this weekend, but as far as non-diehard, Gator-only fans are concerned, football is in the past for this year, and so we’re enjoying this fabulous weather sitting by the pool, trying to grasp where the time has gone in 2010. 

Unlike last week’s playlist, this one has little rhyme or reason, except for that each song on it seems to be speaking to me, as I chill by the pool with my dog on my lap and my friends by my side. 

This Top5 is one from something like a tailgate to a beautiful holiday. Happy Hannukah, Merry everything! Enjoy the music… and as always, GO GATORS!

3 years ago

Top5 Sad Songs…Because We Lost…Again

Such a dramatic post title for a mild football fan, but in the wake of a loss to…gulp…FSU, I’m hanging my head and listening to these sulky songs…sort of. 

'Twas a long drive from SoFla to Gainesville, so here's the playlist I thought up for all those who felt the loss that ended this football season:

Sorry to depress. On a lighter note, I had a really fun tailgate experience this year, so stay tuned for next week’s uplifting Top5. Yayyyyy. 

Go Gataz…still. 

*thanks to musicradar.com for the inspiration

3 years ago

Top 5 Mascots in My Book

We’re winding down here in Gator land, folks, as we celebrate the eve of our final home game during my college career. It’s been a good run, and though a little weak these past few weeks on the field, still an adventure in the student section of the Ben Hill Griffin Stadium

Keep your pants on though; the season’s not over yet. Let’s tackle one top5 post at a time, starting with this weekend’s contender, Appalachian State, whose mascot, Yosef the Mountaineer, I can thank for basically forcing me into this week’s top5 theme.

Top 5 So-Lame-That-They’re-Cool…Sort-Of Mascots

5. Sammy the Slug of University of California at Santa Cruz

UC Santa Cruz is too abstract for any typical mascot. The Student Union on their nature reserve of a campus looks more like a log cabin than an official building of a state university. So it’s no wonder this artsy fartsy student body picks a banana slug, a mascot so lame that it’s actually intimidating in its mockery. Way to go, art kids! 

4. Blue the Bobcat of the University of Kentucky

Apparently, Kentucky doesn’t mess around! One of the school’s three mascots (a little excessive if you ask me), this REAL, LIVE BOBCAT stands out from the other mascots in that he actually never attends games. They say the species’ shy demeanor keeps Blue off the field…so what makes him a mascot then?? To each his own, I guess. Don’t worry Blue, you still muh boy. 

3. The Stanford Tree

'Tis the season to find a scarier mascot, smarties. Though still waiting to be officially recognized as the formal mascot for the university, this dancing conifer is the official mascot for the Stanford band, and a staple for Stanford fans. Let's give them a little credit; this mascot's…well….festive. Merry football season. 

 2. Colonel Ebirt of the College of William & Mary Tribe


I kept this sucker on the list for a good laugh, even though he’s been demoted from official mascot status. Colonel Ebirt was a green, almost amorphous blob, decked in colonial attire. “Ebirt” spells “Tribe” backwards. Clever, but I think it’s still too soon for this kind of innuendo to fly.

1. IT’S A THREE-WAY TIE!!!

….between food mascots, naturally. 

and, the real winner if I had to choose…

I think I’d be doing a disservice to these perishables by speaking on their behalf. Now that they’re personified, can’t they speak for themselves?

And they’re ya have it. Yo-de-lay-hee-hoo, Appalachian State: you’re goin’ down….I hope. GO GATORS!

3 years ago

Top 5 Bizarre Moments that SC Dragged In

 

5. When my friend and a few others got kicked out of the stadium for standing trying to walk closer towards the field from their seats.

RT @DMTintner @berniceguy ufpd is pretty hard to stomach. Kicked out for standing on bleachers? Really? How bout the other 30,000 ppl?

A little dramatic of a move at a season-determining football game, don’t you think?

 

4. A daddy at a tailgate BBQ with an ice-cold beer in one hand, and a baby in the other. Reeeaaaal Classy.


3. When I kept spotting Gators in orange even though we called for an official blue-out in the Swamp.


RT@LindseyMarmor People wearing orange are either #outoftheloop or have serious attention issues … #suckstosuck


2. The 1,000,001 “Beat the cocks” jokes on T-shirts and out of the mouths of Gators fans, old and new alike. 

(Sidenote: Do we still get to make those even though the cocks wooped us?)

1. Two older men in Pi Chi (sorority recruitment counselor) hats, as separate sightings.

The real deal…just for a frame of reference.

Fi Chi (Fake Pi Chi) #1

False Alarm #2

What’s the rush, gentlemen? …I crack myself up.

See ya next week. Appalachian State fans - please carry some funny moments with your mountaineering gear. Thanks.

3 years ago

TOP 5 DORKIEST FIGHT SONGS OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL

WIN today v. Vanderbilt, which brings a sentiment we appreciate these days more than we used to (hence the jolly song that frames this post). 

Lest we celebrate our away victory from here in Gainesville by reflecting through a musical tribute!

Gator fans: take a little stroll through this college fight song hall of lame…ehem, I mean, fame. Ladies and gents, I give you the Top 5 dorkiest fight songs of college football (click on the titles to hear the orchestration; but be warned, they all kind of sound the same):

5. Nebraska: Dear Old Nebraska U (aka There is No Place Like Nebraska)

Lyrics:

There is no place like Nebraska,
Dear old Nebraska U.
Where the girls are the fairest,
The boys are the squarest,
Of any old school that I knew.
There is no place like Nebraska,
Where they’re all true blue.
We’ll all stick together,
In all kinds of weather,
For dear old Nebraska U

My two cents: I smell a copycat “We are the Boys,” since that’s credited to a lyricist in 1919 and this one’s from 1923. Lucky for Nebraska, Florida fans, along with everyone else, have no interest in trekking there for any reason.

The real deal: Apparently, these lyrics were all the rage back in the day, since UChicago and the public schools of Toledo, Ohio sing similar jingles. Oooops.

4. Utah: Utah Man

 Lyrics:

I am a Utah Man, sir, and I live across the green,
Our gang it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.
Our coeds are the fairest and each one’s a shining star,
Our yell, you’ll hear it ringing through the mountains near and far!
Who am I, sir,
A Utah Man am I!
A Utah Man, sir,
Will be ‘til I die.
Ki-yi!
We’re up to snuff, we never bluff, we’re game for any fuss.
No other gang of college men dare meet us in a muss.
So fill your lungs and sing it out and shout it to the sky,
We’ll fight for dear old crimson for a Utah Man am I!
Ki-yi!

My two cents: Tres trash-ay, I say. <- That was my attempt at mocking their cheap rhymes, whilst pointing out that universities don’t usually write ‘snuff’ into their official traditions.

The real deal: The Utes don’t post much about the history of their fight song, but Ki-Yi is their coyote sound, in case you were trying to translate that. Yep, that’s all I got. I just think this one’s weird.

3. Clemson: the Tiger Rag

Lyrics:

Long ago way down in the jungle
Someone got an inspiration for a tune
And that jingle came from the jungle
Became famous mighty soon
Thrills and chills it sends through you
Hot so hot it burns you too
Though it’s just the growl of the Tiger
It was written in a syncopated way
More and more they yell for the Tiger
Everywhere you go today, they’re shoutin’:
Where’s that Tiger?
Where’s that Tiger?
Where’s that Tiger?
Where’s that Tiger?
Hold that Tiger!
Hold that Tiger!
Hold that Tiger!
C-L-E-M-S-O…N!

My two cents: This one’s just bizarre. It reads like a poetry assignment from of English 101 at…well, Clemson.

The real deal: Doesn’t really matter because they only sing the letters at the end now. The rest has been lot in translation…probably because nobody knows what “syncopated” means anymore…

2. Cornell: Give My Regards to Davy

Lyrics (decoding hints in-text):

Give my regards to Davy [DISCIPLINARIAN]
Remember me to Tee Fee Crane. [AN ADMINISTRATOR]
Tell all the pikers [FRESHMEN] on the hill
That I’ll be back again.
Tell them just how I busted
Lapping up the high highball.
We’ll all have drinks at Theodore Zinck’s [A FORMERLY INFAMOUS BAR IN ITHACA]
When I get back next fall!
 

My two cents: Hey Cornell, maybe you missed the memo but a fight song is supposed to pump up your fans, not leave them in the cold depressed! For a tune so upbeat (and dorky; it’s set to “Give My Regards to Broadway”), these lyrics are sad.

The real deal: The story goes that three frat guys wrote this song about an administrator (David “Davy” Hoy; perhaps a familiar name to Cornell students because of Hoy field, a baseball field on campus) and a student who was expelled for binge drinking. 

1. Vanderbilt: Dynamite

Lyrics:

Dynamite, Dynamite
When VANDY starts to fight.
Down the field with blood to yield,
If need be, save the shield.
If vict’ry’s won, when battle’s done,
Then VANDY’s name will rise in fame.
But, Win or lose,
The Fates will choose,
And VANDY’s game will be the same.
Dynamite, Dynamite
When VANDY starts to fight!
Fight!

My two cents: So, the song’s OK - atypical for the #1 spot on a dorky list, but the tradition that comes with it is pretty silly, and since they lost big this weekend, they swooped in and earned this here title. Read the real deal to learn about the tradition that’s at butt of this joke…mwuahaha.

The real deal: Since 2003, the Vandy marching band has used a prop in their pre-game fight song performance: a plunger. Oh yes, I write nothing but the truth. Mr. Commodore arrives to the field with an announcer who says, “It looks like Mr. Commodore’s got—yes! It’s dynamite!” And so begins the song. Real cute, Commodores!

3 years ago

Top 5 Most Entertaining Football Fans at FLA/GA

 If I get nothing else out of my Journalism major, I can at least sleep well at night knowing I’m easy to talk to, and that I’ll not likely have a problem finding character-driven stories in my lifetime.

For whatever reason, characters love me, which is convenient since I really like them too. 

So, from my keyboard to your eyes, here are the top 5 most entertaining football fans drawn to my Florida v. Georgia tailgate weekend. Please feel free to enjoy this account of their ridiculous behavior as much as I enjoyed the real deal. 

…Oh yeah, and GO GATORS!

5. The confused Georgia fan who bought a ticket for more than face value from my friend Rachel. He sat in the middle of an enthused UF sorority block. After being wedged awkwardly between group photos, he asked to switch to the end of the row, where he cheered for the Bulldogs all alone. Poor pup.


4. Angie, the chica who slipped onto our table at Hooters. We learned some major life lessons from dear Angie, including “Keep your head up and your body straight…” Whatever that means. The lady was wasted, and served as one of the three thousand reminders to keep it classy, especially above the age of 45. When she realized she got a good reaction from our laughing crowd, she started scratching my friend Julie’s back and giggling. Guess those commercials about a tight-knit Gator Nation really ring true on weekends like these.


3The old men across the hall from our room at the Hyatt. 148755_1239092013469_1114320209_30882793_2421746_n

They kept opening our door to tell us that the Gators won the game. 

When we took the latch off the door to keep them out, they would knock and yell ‘we f**king won!’ until they heard some form of acknowledgement from our end. We think they may have been with the Hooters slosh the night before. 

When we asked the men if they went to UF, one man answered for both of them: “I went once; he went twice.”

 

2. The girl pole-dancing on the boat near one of the entrances to the Jacksonville Landing Friday night. Thanks for the free show…or something? Yuck.

 

1. A boy who got arrested Friday night for resisting an officer who I believe was on his case about public intoxication. I could give you an entertaining play-by-play, but I think his Facebook status from Saturday sums it up quite eloquently: 

"Was held in jail for what the judge called the dumbest case she has ever seen in her life….Charges dropped but the friendships I made will last forever" 


And so the tradition stands: FLA/GA weekend proved an embarrassing but epic success for all that got to spend time with characters like these. May the rivalry live on and attract these kinds of people for years to come…


For more good laughs, check out the Halloween costumes from the Hyatt party
from Gville.Network’s Facebook page

3 years ago

GET PUMPED

Get ready for the Top 5 Most Embarrassing Gators Fans from the Jacksonville Landing… How many jorts jests do we think we’re going to get from obnoxious Georgia fans? Can’t wait…

Free translation for those living in a hole stripped of O & B… jorts=jean shorts. Male Gators fans: wear ‘em proud….or keep them tucked away. That’s cool, too. 

3 years ago

Top 5 Bitter Social Media Remarks from my Social Network

 Since we got here in ‘07, the Gators have been bringing home the bacon, and apparently, that’s translated into our inability to grasp how to act in the wake of an upset, or any loss, really. 

Here’s what my network of friends and my go-to’s for local news have to say about the sad Homecoming game, wherein the only thing we were happy to come home to was the comfort of depressed Ohio State fans….


5. Ilana Slott (Facebook Status): First time in my undergraduate career that Florida is an unranked football team…go gators?

4. Aaron Wasserstrom (Facebook Status): Now I know how UM “fans” and FSU fans have felt the past 6+ years


3.  Not, not, NOT a good thing when the head honcho hangs his head post-game… Today’s Gainesville Sun quoted Urban Meyer saying,"We’re not very good right now." (via "Gators sink further into losing streak")

 2. RT @RRandall13Ooowee. Well…. hmmmm…. uhhh, trying to come up with some words for this. Clean words. #gamedaytap

 1. In the headline on an Alligator article, the author wrote “It wasn’t supposed to be this bad.” YIKES…

3 years ago

Top 5 gameday tweets in light of a loss to LSU

Okay, so I sold my ticket to the LSU game, and instead spent some time on Twitter getting the scoop while my friends suffered through the upset from the stadium.

Rough loss: I know it, you know it, we all know it; so I’m sticking with humor this week in recapping the UF v. LSU game. 


Here are my Top 5 game day tweets: 


5. RT @PBPjasonlieser: In a lighter moment today, Gators OC Steve Addazio says neither boos nor booze affect his play-calling.

I don’t think he was drunk, but Addazio’s got thicker skin than I do if the boos didn’t take their toll…


4. RT@danibeeee: noles WIN// gators LOOSE .. what a GREAT night. & #noles is trending right now!!!

FSU fan gets tripped up on spelling LOSE=no comment necessary….


3. RT@j_wells247 Need a catchy name for Steve Addazio’s offense…I like “Choke & Puke,” “Chuck & Duck” and “Hem & Haw.” What says the audience? #Gators

Gross J Wells, but well-played…Ouch


2. RT@HardyVision: On Gators’ fashion sense: If you’re gonna dress up like Clemson, you’re gonna look like Clemson. Capiche? #OrangeOut

Dude’s got a point…


1. RT@patatomic: Teaching life lessons to boy #2 via Swamp People. “Sometimes rednecks kill ‘gators, son”.

A quick reminder to Jeff Demps: LSU fans are brutal, but don’t you feel like this is a line straight out of “The Waterboy?”


And there you have it. Until next week…keep it real, Gator fans. Enjoy Rainey’s reentry to the team.

3 years ago

Who’s ready for Bama, baby?

I don’t claim to know much about football, but as the eldest child of a family of Gators, my parents and Grandpa instilled in me the necessity of convincing my sister and cousins that Gator football is the only football that really matters.

So, I guess as far as football goes, this is it for me; and in honor of the longstanding Leader/Fuller family tradition of mild trashtalk of the rest of the SEC (subliminally delivered through Gator-centric speech), I did my research this week. 

On the eve of the Florida-Alabama away game, here are my findings:

In an article this week, Alabama Live called it “the most meaningful rivalry in college football today,” and bleacher report agreed. They say “Florida and Alabama meet Saturday just for the right to do it all over again later in the year.” 

And my favorite quote of the story, "If you hate the SEC — and that seems to be a growing trend — this might be a good week to schedule a trip out of the country."

As for the best piece of research I gathered this week, the Top 10 Alabama Jokes of All Time. I can sense the sky-high levels of pride from my family for this already….

3 years ago